57 ways to screw up in grad school : perverse professional lessons for graduate students / Kevin D. Haggerty and Aaron Doyle.

Includes index.

Starting out. Do not think about why you are applying ; Ignore the market ; Stay at the same university ; Follow the money blindly ; Do an unfunded PhD ; Do an interdisciplinary PhD ; Believe advertised completion times ; Ignore the information the university provides you ; Expect the money to take care of itself -- Supervisors . Go it alone and stay quiet ; Choose the coolest supervisor ; Have co-supervisors ; Do not clarify the supervisor's (or your own) expectations ; Avoid your supervisor and committee ; Stay in a bad relationship ; Expect people to hold your hand -- Managing your program. Concentrate only on your thesis ; Expect to write the perfect comprehensive exam ; Select a topic for entirely strategic reasons ; Do not teach, or teach a ton of courses ; Do not seek teaching instruction ; Move away from the university before finishing your degree ; Postpone those tedious approval processes ; Organize everything only in your head ; Do not attend conferences, or attend droves of conferences -- Your work and social life. Concentrate solely on school ; Expect friends and family to understand ; Socialize only with your clique ; Get a job! -- Writing. Write only your PhD thesis ; Postpone publishing ; Cover everything ; Do not position yourself ; Write only to deadlines ; Abuse your audience -- Your attitude and actions. Expect to be judged only on your work ; Have a thin skin ; Be inconsiderate ; Become "that" student ; Never compromise ; Gossip ; Say whatever pops into your head on social media -- Delicate matters. Assume that the university is more inclusive than other institutions ; Insist on your rights ; Get romantically involved with faculty ; Cheat and plagiarize -- Am I done yet?: on finishing. Skip job talks ; Expect to land a job in a specific university ; Expect people to hire you to teach your thesis ; Turn down opportunities to participate in job searches ; Neglect other people's theses ; Get an unknown external examiner ; Do not understand the endgame ; Be blase about your defense ; Do not plan for your job interview ; Persevere at all costs ; Consider a non-academic career a form of failure ; Final thoughts.